Big Audacious Goals

Hi Beautiful One,

Today has been a rainy day. I usually have the best relaxing time on rainy days, but today was not the case. Today I feel stuck. Healing truly isn't linear. My best friend says I'm too hard on myself and that's true. I expect so much out of me that I often burn out. Staying on task has always been a struggle, but motivation isn't real ya know? Motivation is a momentary increase in drive that disappears as fast as the sunset. However, habits and methods are there to remind the body what's needed for the day. So, after much work I have found myself doing my habits that are now much healthier than before. That doesn't stop the longing...the desire for more.

Have you ever looked around and known that this life isn't the life? I have this deeply rooted belief that life can be grand. I have tried to shake and I have tried to erase the desire from my being altogether, but today it was all I could think about. A different life, a grand life. I remember my marriage counselor telling me I had delusions of grandeur so whenever I think of myself in movies and my name in lights I remind myself of that. But...it's this itch, this spark deep down that just knows I am meant for something big.

The part that shakes me is that I'm not completely sure what it is or how to get there. I have no clue what I am doing and I honestly can't imagine how grand it could be when I'm already at the ripe old age of 30. I know that's ridiculous to say. 30 is the new 20 to some people. I can't help myself from thinking that I have missed the mark. I desire to live my purpose and for so long I thought purpose was connected to career or achievements. I see now that purpose is being unapologetically yourself and in that freedom inspiring change around you.

The great of our lives, the legends, they weren't themselves until they became themselves. I know that probably doesn't make sense, but to me it makes perfect sense. Oprah wasn't always Oprah at first. Kobe wasn't Kobe. So maybe G.E.M. isn't G.E.M. yet. I keep trying to put one foot in front of the other, but it gets hard. It's hard being a nobody when you believe you are meant to be somebody.

All this to say, today has been a rough mental day, but even with all of that going on here I am. All of this to say, your progress is progress even if it's a milimeter of it. I may not fully believe it all the time, but God's timing is perfect. I strongly beleive that we step into different seasons of life and challanges because we have made space for them. I believe that much like our natural muscles, faith has to be worked out.

A friend of mine shared a podcast with me and the talked about securing his B.A.G. (Big Audacious Goals) and how mastering anything is a matter of hours put in. That over night success is never overnight. It just happens after hours upon hours of sweat until the world notices what you have always known. So maybe, just maybe, all we have to do is keep pushing while we wait for the world to figure out what deep down in our hearts we have always known. I'll live a life larger than life as grand as kings and as humble as beggars. I'll inspire billions and leave a legacy that makes its mark in history.

If greatness is what your heart and soul tells you you're capable of then time will reveal that truth that clearly has deep roots in your being. One foot in front of the other.

I want you to keep your head up, be encouraged, and know that you are loved. You are a member of the Free World: a world without shame, without fear, a world where being who YOU are is expected. Be patient with yourself because everything is a process. Remember life is a marathon not a sprint. You'll make it through this week!

We are in this together. You are not alone.

I love you,

G.E.M. Stone