Do I Have Enough Time?

Hello Beautiful One,

30 is coming for me. The thought of turning 30 years old scares me, not because I'm closer to my end, but because I feel as if I should be further along. As you know by now, I have BIG dreams for myself and my life. The more I age, the more I think that I just don't have enough time to accomplish what my purpose is. I begin to nitpick at my past to see where I got distracted from growth and the ways of this fallen world. All the while not realizing that all I am doing is hurting myself.

You know, I have never played life small but in ways I have. I've been told I'm too cocky, I'm too loud, I'm too this, and too that. I have been questioned every time I come out with a bigger than life solution to life's many issues. I have backtracked into that safe mindset that the world tells us to have time and time again. And for what? The worst feeling is going to a job and knowing that you are so much more than clocking in to give hours of your life away towards a purpose that isn't your own. It's like your soul can feel it.

This is a hard life. Being a dreamer is a tough life. I spend hours in my head with ideas that I know people would say are "crazy". Something in me doesn't want to play it safe. Something in me doesn't want to continue getting wrapped up in the job promotions that leave me feeling somewhat accomplished but not fulfilled. That's the thing, purpose fulfills you. It's that thing you do that scares you but leaves you feeling like you've left something behind. It is rooted in love and defined in your legacy. It gives breath to the dead things of life in others and breaks the tension of our harsh reality.

I am tired of asking myself do I have enough time. I am over playing small to appease people who have decided to be less than who they were made to be. I am over going to sleep to wake up with anxiety because I have to live my day inside of the decisions I made while playing it safe. I have heard that the life I am living now is based on a set of decisions I made 3 to 5 years ago. So today I get to make decisions that I pray 3 to 5 years from now sets me up to live a full life. A life heavily saturated in love and designed by my purpose.

Listen to me, no matter what age you are, whether you are 18 or 65, you know who this blog post is for. There is this thing that tugs at your heart. This desire for life that is so much bigger than those around you and I am here to tell you: that's okay. Some people are made for company work. Some people are made to work 15 to 50 years in a company, but you, you are made for something bigger. It isn't defined and that's what scares you, because that's what scares me.

But I'm telling you, you won't be satisfied until you go after it. That job, that promotion, it won't fulfill your soul. You were never meant to play it small. It's not who you are. It has never been who you are and you know it. Take the leap with me as I take the leap with God. Be honest with Him but most of all be honest with yourself. Make a dream board with me that states clearly what you want to be. Post it in your room, read it every morning, and every night. You have enough time to get there, but first let's speak into existence together.

I want you to keep your head up, be encouraged, and know that you are loved. You are a member of the Free World: a world without shame, without fear, a world where being who YOU are is expected. Be patient with yourself because everything is a process. Remember life is a marathon not a sprint. You'll make it through this week!