Fired Up

Hi Free World,

When your back is against the wall, you have a few choices. You can fight your way out. You can give up. You can stand and accept what is coming. Hell, you can climb the wall if you want. That's life right? You get these choices to decide the type of person you will be in that moment. Does it determine your next day? Maybe. Life is full of maybes. Maybe I'll leave. Maybe she'll stay. Maybe I'll survive this. Maybe he can do this. Just a long list of eventualities that you can never plan for, but deep down inside you knew it was a matter of when not if. We get caught off guard but then we look back on life as if the design makes sense a few years later. So, when your back is against the wall and the wall no longer surprises you, what is your choice?

I have been in many predicaments, as you all know. Some, my own doing and others, at the hands of hurt people looking to hurt me. I have always reacted in ways that were so outside of my character. I have witnessed the worst parts of myself struggle against the best parts in an attempt to keep me off balance. The crazy part is, I see my back against the wall and it's familiar, but I still take it as a surprise. It's as if the revolving door that I continue to push seems new every cycle. Then it hit me, my sense of self was always being altered by the circumstance. There hasn't been a time where I knew my authentic self well enough to see the storm and not be moved by it.

That's when I realized...

Yeah I may be against a wall but I have been against many. The amount of pure bull shit that has hit me overtime is nothing I can't handle. Then I began to see myself and the emotion that turmoil brings to be two different things. I saw the turbeulence as a momentary occurence like smoke, it'll go away evenutally. Not if but, when. The wall was marked with drawings of my triumphs and writings of the lessons I had learned. It had familiarity.

Recently I had the mistakes of my past come back to bite me because we reap what we sow but, my current self was no longer that person. It's so easy to think that I haven't changed and that I haven't grown. Especially considering the amount of wrong that I have done. I am blessed to be surrounded by good quality people. There are the ones who remind us that as we grow, we are becoming better and the past in just that: the past. It's not enough to have a community around you though, you need you on your side too. You need you to be the hero because after all, you are the main character of your own story. You decide the path and purpose drives the design.

So what am I saying?

I got fired and found myself feeling more free than ever. I got fired and found myself surrounded by love instead of redicule. I got fired and felt like my life had just begun after that moment. After all of my time telling people that they could be a part of the Free World, I found myself being thrust into the words I preach. You can't tell people that a World exists where they don't have to be a part of the system and then yourself be a part of that very system. So, now I get to be the leader of this Free World and follower of God without restraint, to press on towards a new type of success: prosperity. I get to set the example of what it means to know that you can be greater and actually be great. It's scary, no doubt about that, but I am sick and tired of waking up to not liking what I am doing with my life. I don't want my life to look good, I want it to be good.

So...let's see if I have what it takes...

Never be afraid to learn. Never be afraid to grow. Yes, the past will come back to bite you but, imagine all of the good that you'll reap from the growth you are participating now. At some point, the bad will wash away. Your job is to endure. Secure yourself in who you are and allow yourself to be. If not for your future, for your past. Do it for the kid who needed you to be your true self. Do it because it's right and then when you have reached the pinnacle you were meant to, keep going. Make your mind up, don't look back, and prioritize God...and I promise you that everything will work out how it should.

I want you to keep your head up, be encouraged, and know that you are loved. You are a member of the Free World: a world without shame, without fear, a world where being who YOU are is expected. Be patient with yourself because everything is a process. Remember life is a marathon not a sprint. You'll make it through this week!