In The Name Of

Hello Free World,

Let's talk as a family today. By now you have noticed some changes that I have made to give you all more access to me and more access to more content in general. I started an IGTV series called Monday Motivation! If you're not following me, head over to Instagram and follow (@gemthestone_)! This quarantine has been a lot for everyone and that's why I'm shifting the focus and continuing on with life in this new normal.

I've been pretty up and down lately for a number of reasons. You would think an introvert like me should be having the time of his life right? Yes, I am loving this time away from people but alone time with my thoughts is an interesting time. I am very much an over thinker. I play scenarios in my head naturally now since I've done it so much most of my life. I have these feelings for someone, I don't miss my job, I can't stop thinking about food, and so much more. It's literally causing me anxiety, the thought of processing all of the emotions while at the same time trying to maintain a path to a better self.

You know, I try to have an assortment of tools to get me through the day. Methods to the madness that stops me from going mad. Life has changed so much for me that now those tools are old, broken even. When you are broken to the bare bones, it's easy to find yourself looking to everything to fill that void. It's as if every sense of who you are is gone and what's left is this blank space, but at the core you're still YOU. Isn't that crazy?

So what am I getting at? When the world stands still and you are alone with everything, what do you find? Behind the job that you work and the friends that you occupy your time with, who are you? At the center of your being, what lives? Compassion? Anger? Fear? Love?

I noticed something today, at the center of who I am there's a kid who just wanted love and gives what he believes his world should have had. I have spent my life giving compassion and love even when I didn't understand that I needed to give it to myself. I've spent 29 years making choices based on assumptions about myself and not seeing that at the bare minimum my foundation is built on love. It drives me forward, it scares me, and it gives me peace all in the same motion.

That's the challenge this week: remember who you are. Outside of work, friends, bars, and clubs, who are you? Define that and then I want you to build on it, really build on that because if the world stands still again you will have everything you need to get through it.

Keep your head up, be encouraged, and know that you are loved. You are a member of the Free World: a world without shame, without fear, a world where being who YOU are is expected. Be patient with yourself because everything is a process. Remember life is a marathon not a sprint. You'll make it through this week!