I Started Therapy

Hi beautiful one,

Last week I started a new chapter in this healing journey, I started therapy. There were so many thoughts going into this decision. So many questions and so many doubts. It's hard you know? Thinking about someone diving into your mind to tell you what's wrong with you. It's even harder being a male considering going to therapy.

Men are supposed to be strong and equipped to deal. I can hear my grandfather now, "Big boys don't cry," but here's the thing, I do. I've been crying off and on for years. I've been struggling off and on for years. So I made the call because my mind is the greatest weapon I have but I've been using it against myself.

So there I am, at a church with some man I don't know who heard every thought and watched every tear fall. And then the craziest thing happened. He addressed my ONE issue. Here I am thinking that I have so many problems because of my past, so many issues because of my decisions but no, it all came down to ONE issue. My entire world simplified. My entire being realized. I have been a map without a legend and now here it is, pinpointed for me to map out.

We as human beings take advice from our peers, family, friends, music, hell even movies but it doesn't always solve the puzzle. That's because every puzzle is unique, you are unique and sometimes it just takes the right perspective. Sometimes, the ones who have the best foot forward to help you are in the trenches with you and what you desperately need is someone at the top of the trench looking at the big picture.

I've been searching for answers in everything except this and now I'm writing in hopes that through my search for freedom and healing I can help you too. Self care starts in the mind. Commitment starts in the mind. Motivation starts in the mind. I know it feels like a lot, for me it has and still does. Everyday is a struggle and everyday is another fight, but what do you have to lose?

You've waited and dreamt of a destination. You, safe with a family. You, successful and happy. All along that way you have done things with great intentions but the road to hell is paved in good intentions. I'm asking you to give yourself your best chance.

I am blessed enough to work for a company that offers an Employee Assistance Program that helps with mental health. Look into it, see what offers are out there for you.

So keep your head up, be encouraged, and know that you are loved. You are a member of the Free World: a world without shame, without fear, a world where being who YOU is expected. Be patient with yourself because everything is a process. Remember life is a marathon not a sprint. You'll make it through this week!

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