Marathon Life

Hey Beautiful One,

So, the vibe today is some Hip-Hop music and deep breathing while typing this up for you. After a couple of weeks of self indulgence (eating too much, gaining weight, and not working out) I have arrived at the start of this race. A race towards a fully realized me. Today has been a rough start. It's hard to see your previous progress and compare yourself to that. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy that I continue to get back up on the bike but the bike used to be easy to ride. Life isn't as linear as we make it out to be. We make ourselves think about time all day everyday when, for me, time has become less real.

If we can't relive yesterday and tomorrow is uncertain, then now is the only thing that exists...right?

I remember the pace of my previous chapter of life, losing weight, going to work, video games on the weekends. Now, it's working from home, recording Tik-Tok videos, trying not to eat all of my snacks, and trying to create a routine I can be proud of. Life has a way of taking your routine and throwing it in the trash! What am I supposed to do with that? I find myself trying to find my inner rhythm as opposed to finding rhythm with everything around me. I am starting to believe that it is the inner rhythm that will cause the vibes to match me as I walk through life. Life may be liner, healing too, but my rhythm can be a lifetime. Everyone has their definition for this race called life but what if the collective experience was never about the race and all about the experience.

Knowledge isn't in a book, knowledge is in the experience.

It's hard not to judge yourself when you arent't as this or that as you used to be. It's even harder when you recognize your setback is because of you. As I have said many times, the proof of your awareness is in your response. There is only now, you from yesterday, you from last year, that you is gone and basing your entire being off of that is not going to propel you forward. It will, instead, focus you on things you can no longer control. The only way to thrive is to examine the marathon you are currently in because yesterday's race is done and tomorrow's race, well, you may not even have to run at all.

The harsh realities of life are only harsh because we percieve them to be that way. We give life to the monsters in our heads and then get angry at life for allowing the monsters to exist. We count our days as if the present moment isn't everything we need to be. To be is to acknowledge our presence in our present. The race was never about being able to get to the next day from the last, but about understanding the marathon you currently run. This is our challenge: to let go of what was and what's to come, in order to live in what is. That is the beginning of discipline. Consistently showing up in the present to dominate life by seizing the day as it occurs. I believe in you so much!

I want you to keep your head up, be encouraged, and know that you are loved. You are a member of the Free World: a world without shame, without fear, a world where being who YOU are is expected. Be patient with yourself because everything is a process. Remember life is a marathon not a sprint. You'll make it through this week!