Method To Madness

Hello again Beautiful One,

How are you this week? Have you been checking in with yourself? The reason I ask is that I have started checking in with me lately. I was out on a run the other day. As I ran my usual mile, thoughts- no, memories came to my mind. Memories that led to deeper thinking. I thought about getting kicked out at 17 years old and the habits that followed. Now, this started to have a rabit hole effect but I allowed myself to fall down it. I saw a hurt teenarger with so much rage and ambition wrapped in a tight bundle of stress. How did he cope? Well, he took control of the only thing he could: eating. Right there in that moment, my inner child was showing me where that bad habit started. Right there in that moment, I apologized to him and told him that he did the best he could to survive his trauma.

You see, I have always had a method to my madness. I have always enjoyed that term because there truly are methods to what some would call madness. Shadow is hardwork. It can cause you to reengage those toxic and unstable times if we allow it, but what if we don't? What happens when our inner child speaks clearly? See, that moment had no trauma attached to it. In other words, there were no triggers. I was simply on a run, my normal morning run. Isn't that odd? Or is it? Here I am, able to finally understand where my hurts began. Here I am, able to freely talk about my past, not to understand. I want you to think about that. Sometimes we talk about the hurts of our past to understand why when it was never about the why in the first place.

I'm saying all of this because in the freedom to make a morning routine I have found freedom in my emotions. In this drive to create a better body, I have found space deeper self awareness. In my method to all of my life's madness, I am finding wholeness. Peace isn't the absence of war, it is the knowledge and appreciation of self during the war. Life can be a series of misfortunate events, there is no doubt about that. But, I am learning that as long as you know you, life can be something more. It can be a field of wildflowers that grow after a forest fire. It can be the giggle of an infant. It can be the clutch shot of a championship game. We just have to create the space for that to exist.

I am encouraging you to start a new method. Write down one thing your grateful for every morning. Walk 15 minutes a day. Drink one glass of water. Listen to a podcast episode. I hear The Hidden G.E.M. is a good one. Do whatever it takes to create something that even when you fall, you can brush yourself off and start again. There's growth in creating a method that works. There is even more growth in continuing that method when it's tough.

I want you to keep your head up, be encouraged, and know that you are loved. You are a member of the Free World: a world without shame, without fear, a world where being who YOU are is expected. Be patient with yourself because everything is a process. Remember life is a marathon not a sprint. You'll make it through this week!