Routine Maintenance

Hey Free World,

So, per my last post, you now know that I lost my job back in January, and that the process up until that decision sent me on a bit of a spiral. It has been hard to transition to this new perspective of life. I have always wanted to be an entreuperneur, but I always thought it would be an easy transition into, as opposed to being thrust into it. I fell off the bandwagon pretty hard with my eating and taking care of myself. Gained 10 pounds after losing 40. Spent most days in bed instead of going out into the Sun. Safe to say, termination felt like a slap in the face, a dramatic pause to my progress.

But God...

I found myself developing all types of things in this time including a routine for my morning. Something that could keep me on a sort of track that I could learn to enjoy. I've heard so many times that successful people have routines. I mean, if my weight loss taught me anything it's that routines coupled with discipline creates consistency and consistency creates results. I can't help but feel broken though. You know, you spend years of your life dedicating yourself to a cause that isn't your own. You develop a love for something that makes you feel caged so when freedom strikes...you miss the cage. I find myself missing the cage as if I was identified by it. Isn't that odd? All of this time telling you all that we are citizens of the Free World and yet, I allowed myself to be put in chains.

But the chains are no longer physical...they are mental...

I have these relaspses in my eating that get pretty severe, but I am aware now. So, I start to ask myself, "what are you trying to numb yourself from?" Even though I may not be working, the desire to be at work is still there. There was a pattern, a routine to my day that kept me synchronized but not to my true self. That's the lesson here guys, after so much time inside of the system I became mentally systemically oppressed and that has caused a unique shift in my day. What does any animal do when it's released back to the wild after being in captivity for years? The freedom feels more like a cage than the cage does, but that's the wrong way to look at it!

The possibilities are endless now!

Instead of clocking in, I get to get up and drink herbal tea and study God's Word. I get to choose when and how I go about my day. I design the day, not corporate, not breaks built into a shift, none of that. That freedom seems so scary...but today I am choosing to see it as something more. I am choosing to see it as empowering because the only hands on my time besides my own, are God's. I have lived enslaved by what the world told me I had to do and be, and to be honest I was damn good at it, but I wasn't living. I think you're not either. I feel strongly as you read this that there's a part of you that is screaming out as these words touch your mind. We don't have to be a part of their system. Our souls were never meant to be a part of their system and that's okay. Yeah, you'll standout, and yeah, you'll be different, but why is that such a bad thing?

We were meant for more

In a world so full of rules, why can't we create our own? Hell, the rules were created by someone who made the same observation! The Free World, our world, a place that changes in design based on how we learn and perceive the world. It is a shifting and accepting place that celebrates ingenuity and embraces one another. From here we create from love and build upon that foundation. So yeah, my morning routine changes, that is okay! So yeah, you don't want to major in that subject anymore, that's okay! To be human is to live in a moment because in a moment we could fail to be alive. So, keep taking chances on yourself. Keep believing that you are destined for more, because you are. Keep striving for that vision that you can't let go of. Break the mental chains and experience your authetic self. It'll be hard at first, but your desire has to be stronger than your fear.

I'm doing this with you. You are not alone.

I want you to keep your head up, be encouraged, and know that you are loved. You are a member of the Free World: a world without shame, without fear, a world where being who YOU are is expected. Be patient with yourself because everything is a process. Remember life is a marathon not a sprint. You'll make it through this week!